Back to high school

So I see a post on the Detroit Music Scene MySpace group advertising a series of shows at this teen arts center called The Woods, I imagined something like the Neutral Zone in Ann Arbor. My friend Damon (of the famous-to-devoted-indie-rock-fans band The Swirlies) once told me that high school kids make the best, most enthusiastic audiences and I should seek out venues catering to them, so I decided to see if The Woods would book me. I sent them my usual email:

Hi,

I have a one-man band act... it's me rapping and singing, darkly witty lyrics, over funk beats that I build from loops in real time...
blah blah blah, just describing my act, the mannequins, etc. This morning I saw in my inbox I had a reply -- always good since venues don't bother replying if they don't want you. Here's the reply:

Do you go to AAW? I am not impressed or amused by your "dark witty lyrics". They are not appropriate for our concerts.

Ouch. Then I looked back at their myspace site... it looks like it's not really an independent teen center as I had supposed, but the Arts Academy in the Woods, a high school. Here's an excerpt from their blurb:

Art (and Music) in The Woods

Is it possible to simultaneously raise arts awareness in our community and encourage the creative pursuits of youth while providing a safe, all-ages environment for the audience?

Come Nov. 21, you can ask fans of Red Star Redemption, Wave Eats the Walrus, Maceri and The Sheeny Men. They are the inaugural acts lined up for The Woods -- a fresh, bi-monthly concert series and art fair dedicated to the advancement of the arts in metro Detroit.
...
We hope you’ll come and experience the local art and sounds of generation next!

So I guess this was put together by some sort of teacher or principal or other responsible molder of young minds. It looks like they only listened to my first song on MySpace, the one that goes "I kill babies to keep the house clean." (According to MySpace no one has gotten to any of the other songs since I reinstated my account. I think I'm going to change my first song.) I thought the "Do you go to AAW?" part of the email was funny, like they want to find out who this kid is so they can put him on their shit list. The blurb does make it sound like they're primarily looking for teen bands but other things they said, and the bands they booked, suggest otherwise. Actually I checked those bands out... Maceri are awful cookie-cutter MTV-ready pretty-boy alt-rock (no I'm not bitter... that's what they are!)... The Sheeny Men are kind of blah, self-seriously "soulful" blooze-rock, maybe not terrible live or if they were friends of mine or if I liked blues-rock... Red Star Redemption similar quality in a pop-rock vein, though they're a teen band so I can't be too harsh... Wave Eats the Walrus surprisingly good, moody indie-pop with interesting, semi-orchestral arrangements. So whoever put this together I guess can't tell the difference.

Every once in a blue moon something happens like this to remind me how much high school sucked.